As a Parenting Coach, I am often asked my advice on maintaining a successful family unit. With so many parents these days dealing with misunderstood children; children living in broken homes; parents and children not getting along – it is important to know that there are answers to the questions that parents and children may have.
Here are four of some of the most popular questions that I am asked on parenting and how to maintain that strong family unit.
What advice do you offer couples who are dealing with misunderstood youth?
Don’t always look at the obvious. Most times you have to search behind the obvious to get to the truth. There is usually a reason behind the actual action. One key element will be your patience and willingness to comprehend the real issues. The second key element is not to assume you know how or what your child is feeling – always ask.
What is the best way that you advise parents to go about changing negative issues into positive when dealing with their children?
The best way to turn a negative issue into a positive one is by associating the issue with positive outcomes. For example: “Although you disobeyed me, I’m glad you learned a valuable lesson as to why you shouldn’t do that again.”
How do you suggest parents find a way to reach their children?
The #1 way to reach your kid is by spending time with them. Get to know and understand them – their likes and dislikes, their friends, the habits, their hobbies, etc. Also you need to get involved in other community activities. Many parents don’t realize the significant in community involvement. One of the major complaints from children today is that their parents don’t understand them or their parents are too busy to spend time with them. If you are busy then you can keep it simple by making sure you routinely have family dinner. This is time for you and your child. They know this is their time to talk to you about all that is going on and for you to give them your feedback.
What are some ideals that parents can follow when dealing with violent or misbehaved children?
If your child is exhibiting violent behavior or misbehaving to the point where you feel you have lost control over the child, you will want to invest in counseling/coaching for your child, yourself and as a family. Counselors and coaches are able to look at your situation from an outside perspective coupled with their professional experience. This gives you and your child the opportunity to gain advice and perspective from someone who doesn’t know your circumstances. So there are no biased solutions. Also, you will gain insight on many of the underlying issues that are causing the violence and misbehavior. Nine times out of ten, you as the parent, are not able to pick up on those things because you are so close to the situation and you are not trained to look for certain key words or expressions that will lead a professional to the answers you seek. The job of a counselor/coach would be to help you understand why your child is misbehaving and help you to come up with positive solutions.
What advice do you give to men and women on understanding the dos and don’ts of building a solid foundation for their household?
It is imperative to build a solid foundation for everything that you do, no matter how big or small. Building a household is no different. A solid foundation is what will sustain you through the good and bad times. It’s like building your house out of wood instead of bricks. The house made of bricks can sustain itself better through a fire than the one made out of wood.
Hopefully these answers will assist you with the issues that you are dealing with in your household. There is always a solution to each problem. As a family, you just have to stick together, communicate and stay focused on working out the problem.
