A question that I am commonly asked from parents dealing with misunderstood children is, “When is it time to seek help?” I find that in many cases, when you are at the point where you begin to question yourself about your parenting skills, is when you may need to seek professional help.
I have listed a group of questions that you may find helpful. These are other common questions that I am asked from parents just like you who are seeking help and finding answers to their questions on parenting their misunderstood child or children.
When Is It Time To Seek Help?
What are warning signs from your child that he/she needs professional help?
Parents often overlook many of the early warning signs that something is wrong. They usually look for the big bang, something drastic that the child does. However, by that time, the situation has already gotten way out of control. You need to look for early warning signs such as withdrawal. Most children have a lot to say. If your child does not want to communicate with you that is an early indication that there is an issue of some sort. If your child has difficulty concentrating, that usually means that there is something on the mind prohibiting them to focus on the task at hand. Another warning sign would be continuous disobedience. Most children may misbehave but if you find that your child is not listening to you or other adult figures and constantly acting out, this is usually a key sign that you need to seek help. There is a lack of respect and boundaries that need to be addressed. If your child is verbally or physically abusive that is a big indicator that you need to seek.
When do the parents need to talk to a professional for guidance in parenting?
I would say parents should seek guidance from conception. There are many things that parents will learn through trial and error but there are many things that you will not see or know to look for. Unfortunately, in many cases, by the time you do notice it or figure it out you have already lost control of your child. If you are dealing with a child that is not responsive to you then you need to seek help. If you feel that you have tried everything in your power and your child is still unresponsive then you need to seek help. You have not tried everything until you have tried bringing in a professional. Bringing in a professional will serve two major purposes. One, a professional will bring you a neutral third party. Someone who has no objective but what is best for both parent and child. Two, bringing in a professional will benefit you because you are doing just that – dealing with a professional, someone who has been trained in the field and can give you clinical techniques and solutions to use.
What type of help is available for families dealing with problems with misunderstood children?
There are all types of help for families dealing with misunderstood youth. Most parents, especially those in the inner cities, choose not to explore other avenues that may be able to assist them with their children. At the earliest of ages, I would suggest a mentor. Having a reliable mentor is always effective. Children need someone to look up to and idolize (both girls and boys). Next, I would recommend a Parent Coach because they deal with both the parents and the child. If your child is exhibiting disobedient behaviors, then it is very likely that the emotions tied to those behaviors has as much to do with the parents as it does with the child itself – if not more. So through parent coaching, all aspects of the family life would be explored to determine the problem and the best possible solution for all those involved. If the above options do not work, then I would suggest a counselor (a social worker or psychologist). There is nothing wrong with seeking counsel for your child or for your family for that matter.
Can issues between parents and their children be resolved without seeking a professional?
Depending on the issue, I’d say definitely. It also depends on the relationship between you and your child. The better you are able to communicate your feelings to one another is the better you will be able to resolve your issues. Every family and every situation is different and the issue should be treated accordingly.
